Saturday, July 02, 2005
My Way or the Highway
A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine who said “I could never leave my kids with my parents.” I was surprised and of course had to know why. “Because they would give them Coke and sugar.”
Now on any given day I feel like the dumbest mother on earth – it’s a wonder Jack is still alive and appears to be thriving. But I continued. “Well, can’t you tell them not to do that?” She acted like I was insane. Apparently it’s a grandparent thing to break the rules. It seems some grandparents even enjoy breaking the rules just so the parents have to deal with the aftermath.
I guess it is naive of me to think our parents will follow the rules we give them. I know my mother loves sugar and is chomping at the bit to shove candy and cookies down Jack’s throat, but I have to think if I tell her ‘NO SUGAR’ she will not give him sugar. Or will she? If anyone has experience with this I would love to hear it. I know my mother specifically doesn’t agree with some of my decisions, but I have to hope she respects me enough to follow the rules.
For some people this doesn’t often become an issue because they live so far away from their families. But with two sets of grandparents here, I imagine Jack will be spending a lot of time in the care of others over the years. Is it crazy of me to think I can have rules that will carry over to their homes? I’m pretty crazy about the sugar thing – I really do think many of the behavioral and health problems of children today can be directly linked to eating refined sugar. And it’s very much like a drug – the more you eat it the more you crave it. So most of my rules will revolve around food, which admittedly is difficult to manage.
Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately which is silly considering our little guy is just barely eating smashed up food as it is. Joe is diligently throwing together another batch of yams tonight. This is the start of the process:
He bakes the yams, cools them, grinds them up, then freezes them in cubes. Yummmmmmmy. Here they are cooking away:
You can see how happy Guido is about the entire process.
Yesterday Jack and I went up to Chipotle for lunch with my mom and her friends. Jack loved standing at the table waiting for the food to arrive:
And later I made him take a nap. The funny thing about putting him down when he’s not asleep is going in later to find out how he finally landed. Here you can see his little hand grasping the side of the crib for dear life:
He’s completely out, but still hanging on.
We went to Target today to get him a new walking toy. He loves to walk around the house holding on to my hands, but I’m two steps away from serious back injury. We found this great push cart full of blocks. He’s still a little small and uncoordinated for it, but as long as you hold the bottom he does fine.
That picture is specifically for my brother who complained that I never use a flash. Here is another shot where you can see Jack licking the side of the toy:
We also took a trip to Chuy’s. Jack sat in a high chair while we ate –
although he got bored pretty quickly and Joe had to hold him:
Aren’t they the cutest things you’ve ever seen? I took another one with a flash, again just for you Greg, but you can see how red Jack’s eyes are and apparently the flash makes Joe look a little like Jack Nicholson in the Shining:
It was a nice family day – no real plans, just some errands and hanging around together. It’s nice to have an extra set of hands for dealing with the little character.
Now on any given day I feel like the dumbest mother on earth – it’s a wonder Jack is still alive and appears to be thriving. But I continued. “Well, can’t you tell them not to do that?” She acted like I was insane. Apparently it’s a grandparent thing to break the rules. It seems some grandparents even enjoy breaking the rules just so the parents have to deal with the aftermath.
I guess it is naive of me to think our parents will follow the rules we give them. I know my mother loves sugar and is chomping at the bit to shove candy and cookies down Jack’s throat, but I have to think if I tell her ‘NO SUGAR’ she will not give him sugar. Or will she? If anyone has experience with this I would love to hear it. I know my mother specifically doesn’t agree with some of my decisions, but I have to hope she respects me enough to follow the rules.
For some people this doesn’t often become an issue because they live so far away from their families. But with two sets of grandparents here, I imagine Jack will be spending a lot of time in the care of others over the years. Is it crazy of me to think I can have rules that will carry over to their homes? I’m pretty crazy about the sugar thing – I really do think many of the behavioral and health problems of children today can be directly linked to eating refined sugar. And it’s very much like a drug – the more you eat it the more you crave it. So most of my rules will revolve around food, which admittedly is difficult to manage.
Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately which is silly considering our little guy is just barely eating smashed up food as it is. Joe is diligently throwing together another batch of yams tonight. This is the start of the process:
He bakes the yams, cools them, grinds them up, then freezes them in cubes. Yummmmmmmy. Here they are cooking away:
You can see how happy Guido is about the entire process.
Yesterday Jack and I went up to Chipotle for lunch with my mom and her friends. Jack loved standing at the table waiting for the food to arrive:
And later I made him take a nap. The funny thing about putting him down when he’s not asleep is going in later to find out how he finally landed. Here you can see his little hand grasping the side of the crib for dear life:
He’s completely out, but still hanging on.
We went to Target today to get him a new walking toy. He loves to walk around the house holding on to my hands, but I’m two steps away from serious back injury. We found this great push cart full of blocks. He’s still a little small and uncoordinated for it, but as long as you hold the bottom he does fine.
That picture is specifically for my brother who complained that I never use a flash. Here is another shot where you can see Jack licking the side of the toy:
We also took a trip to Chuy’s. Jack sat in a high chair while we ate –
although he got bored pretty quickly and Joe had to hold him:
Aren’t they the cutest things you’ve ever seen? I took another one with a flash, again just for you Greg, but you can see how red Jack’s eyes are and apparently the flash makes Joe look a little like Jack Nicholson in the Shining:
It was a nice family day – no real plans, just some errands and hanging around together. It’s nice to have an extra set of hands for dealing with the little character.
Comments:
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As the Sugar Grandma I can't believe that you would think I wouldn't "follow the rules". You who left me with the boy and no instructions! I am fortunate that you lived to be a healthy and very happy 33 year old, but I wouldn't dream of breaking any rule you laid down for the raising of young Jack. He is your boy, not mine. He is my treasure and have no intention of losing priveleges cause I have lived through the lack of priveleges with kids.
Mom Streech
Mom Streech
# posted by 
: 8:56 PM
: 8:56 PM
Just to clarify, I assumed you would follow the rules. It never occurred to me that you wouldn't until it was pointed out that I was crazy to expect such things from grandparents.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
Brooke, I am your Dad's cousin and we met a couple of years ago. I am a daily reader of How is....and always worry someone might be sick when there isn't an entry. I have 8 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren and I always respected the family rules when I was blessed with being the sitter. However, my daughter loved to break the rules and deliberately brought out the cookies, candy, and coke. Finally, her son told her that Cooper would no longer be able to visit unless she respected his wishes.
She is the only one I know of who loved to go against the rules, but that was her nature. I think if you know your parents, and I feel that you do, that you could always trust them. Your mom gets her sugar kicks making decadent deserts for grownups.
You should publish your in an illustrated guide to new parents. You have faced all of your fears and you are obviously doing a fine job as Jack is certainly a happy baby. And in good health.
All of our babes loved the circular walkers that they sat in and were able to scoot around the house. They are much better "sitters" when you are trying to get something done. They can follow you all over the place.
Keep up your brand of mothering, Jan
She is the only one I know of who loved to go against the rules, but that was her nature. I think if you know your parents, and I feel that you do, that you could always trust them. Your mom gets her sugar kicks making decadent deserts for grownups.
You should publish your in an illustrated guide to new parents. You have faced all of your fears and you are obviously doing a fine job as Jack is certainly a happy baby. And in good health.
All of our babes loved the circular walkers that they sat in and were able to scoot around the house. They are much better "sitters" when you are trying to get something done. They can follow you all over the place.
Keep up your brand of mothering, Jan
# posted by : 7:24 AM
: 7:24 AM
Good luck with the no sugar thing. My mom was really good about keeping it out of my hands. Actually so was my whole family. I still ended up hooked to the point of craziness. Besides, a couple of years from now it will turn out that sugar prevents cancer or something. Things always change....
: )
: )
Love the flash, needs photoshop. You're smart, you'll figure it out!
There is a reason Mom is known as grandma chocolate!
When you send Jack to Denver we are gonna respect the "no sugar" rule but were are gonna shoot some ducks, dip some chaw and problably learn the proper conjugation of foul words; or would that be breaking a "rule"?
There is a reason Mom is known as grandma chocolate!
When you send Jack to Denver we are gonna respect the "no sugar" rule but were are gonna shoot some ducks, dip some chaw and problably learn the proper conjugation of foul words; or would that be breaking a "rule"?
It's little Jackson's first 4th of July! Are you teaching him to memorize the names of all the presidents (in order) yet?
I am interested to hear the comments that you get. Just last week my dad took Gemma to a movie. I was cringing at the thought of what he might let her have. I told him I didn't even want to know. She got home from the movie and said my dad bought her teddy bears, meaning gummi bears. I was ok with it because she only gets to see her papa Steve a couple times a year. I know if I lived close to my parents it would be a nightmare and I would have to threaten them of never seeing their grandparents if they fed her sugar all the time. I do think try to live by the rule, everything in moderation.
i know exactly how you feel. my mother did that very thing with my son ... never followed the rules that i set and gave him whatever he wanted. it became a battle between us and my son learned very early that despite my saying "no" he could get what he wanted from his grandmother.
i have made a promise to my son and my DIL that i will never do that with my grandson. i wouldn't dream of doing the same thing to them that my mother did to me ...
i have made a promise to my son and my DIL that i will never do that with my grandson. i wouldn't dream of doing the same thing to them that my mother did to me ...
I don't think it's a binary thing. I would totally leave my (hypothetical) kid with either my parents or in-laws; I would expect them to break some rules, but I'd also expect them to show a little sense as to which ones. For example: if the kid loved sugar but it caused serious behavior problems (or if I told them I was convinced it did) I don't think they'd give the kid sugar. If the kid loved sugar and it caused him to be annoyingly hyper for half an hour afterward, then they well might. Or if I were strict about an 8-year-old's bedtimes, I can imagine them letting her stay up a little longer - but only if it were a weekend and she didn't have to get up for school the next day.
I've always believed that parents are for teaching the rules and (noncustodial) grandparents for teaching when you can break the rules, and for spoiling the kid a little. It worked well on me, at any rate. But I do trust both sets of our parents to show a little sense about what rules to break.
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I've always believed that parents are for teaching the rules and (noncustodial) grandparents for teaching when you can break the rules, and for spoiling the kid a little. It worked well on me, at any rate. But I do trust both sets of our parents to show a little sense about what rules to break.
# posted by : 3:27 PM
: 3:27 PM << Home
