Friday, January 21, 2005
Tired Boy
Last night I started worrying about the little guy. His eyes looked kind-of bleary and he was acting weird. Turns out he was just really really tired. I guess all the monkeying around with his sleeping schedule finally got the best of him and he crashed. He slept pretty well, although something is still waking him up in the night. He doesn't cry or want to eat, he just kind-of fusses around a little and goes back to sleep.
So I have a new theory about motherhood. You spend nine months (sometimes longer for those of you who plan this better) completely wrapping your life around this little person. They arrive and you continue the process. Every bit of energy is devoted to your baby and his well being. Then comes the day when he should sleep in his own room. This should be a day for celebration, you have a small bit of your own life back. But it doesn't feel that way. You feel separated from your little being. You feel abandoned. You feel a little less needed.
And so my theory is that a child will begin his life attached to his mother, and progressively try to step farther and farther away from her. This process is never going to end, is it? I mean, someday he'll go to preschool, and then kindergarten, and then he'll be talking on the phone and sending email and becoming (gasp!) his OWN person.
This process of sending the child to his own room (where, frankly, we all sleep better) has been far more difficult on me than it has on him. And I fear that pattern will continue for the rest of my life.
I really had no idea what I was signing on for.
So here he is, happily sleeping in his crib for his afternoon nap:
And a few shots from our lunch out with Julie and Mac. (Just so you know, the baby in green is Mac.) I was relieved to learn that Julie hasn't been putting Mac down for naps either, it's not just me. This is something that isn't in the books anywhere, I checked.
And for those of you who are really in this for the pictures, allow me to direct to you Flickr. http://flickr.com/photos/howisjack/ I'm in the process of loading his pictures since birth. He's only 8 weeks old, but already the pictures are out of control – so many I can't keep track. The great thing about Flickr is the tag feature – if you click on "Her Tags" on the right hand side you can see how I'm organizing these. So if you want to see all the bath pictures, just click on bath and there they are. Pretty cool.
So I have a new theory about motherhood. You spend nine months (sometimes longer for those of you who plan this better) completely wrapping your life around this little person. They arrive and you continue the process. Every bit of energy is devoted to your baby and his well being. Then comes the day when he should sleep in his own room. This should be a day for celebration, you have a small bit of your own life back. But it doesn't feel that way. You feel separated from your little being. You feel abandoned. You feel a little less needed.
And so my theory is that a child will begin his life attached to his mother, and progressively try to step farther and farther away from her. This process is never going to end, is it? I mean, someday he'll go to preschool, and then kindergarten, and then he'll be talking on the phone and sending email and becoming (gasp!) his OWN person.
This process of sending the child to his own room (where, frankly, we all sleep better) has been far more difficult on me than it has on him. And I fear that pattern will continue for the rest of my life.
I really had no idea what I was signing on for.
So here he is, happily sleeping in his crib for his afternoon nap:
And a few shots from our lunch out with Julie and Mac. (Just so you know, the baby in green is Mac.) I was relieved to learn that Julie hasn't been putting Mac down for naps either, it's not just me. This is something that isn't in the books anywhere, I checked.
And for those of you who are really in this for the pictures, allow me to direct to you Flickr. http://flickr.com/photos/howisjack/ I'm in the process of loading his pictures since birth. He's only 8 weeks old, but already the pictures are out of control – so many I can't keep track. The great thing about Flickr is the tag feature – if you click on "Her Tags" on the right hand side you can see how I'm organizing these. So if you want to see all the bath pictures, just click on bath and there they are. Pretty cool.
