Tuesday, December 07, 2004

On My Own

Joe went back to work yesterday and I think he missed the little man. I certainly couldn't leave him all day, I think it would be impossible to concentrate. I was very worried about being able to handle it on my own, but I think I did okay. Plus my mom, aunt, and cousin came over to visit in the middle of the day. The one big accomplishment for me was taking a shower with no one else here – I had read that most mothers of newborns never shower, which is just not an option for me. So I set up the baby monitor and showered away without incident. I was pretty proud of myself.

Here is my cousin Stacey holding Jack:



And my Aunt Katherine (she's my mom's sister, they were visiting from Southern California)



I was thinking last night that one of the reasons people lose their friends when they have a baby is that there is no possible way for the childless friends to understand what impact the babies have on our lives. I've had a few instances in the past week where I was shocked by the insensitivity of my friends, only to step back and realize it's simply because they have NO IDEA what it's like to live with a newborn.

First of all, my schedule is completely dictated by when the little man wants to eat. If he is screaming bloody murder, I cannot answer the phone. If I try to schedule anything, it may all fall apart with one giant crying jag (his, not mine. At least not yet.) Secondly, I have to sleep a lot during the day, otherwise I will fall apart. And thirdly, everything in my life is upside down.

Parley mentioned on Sunday he's keeping up with me by reading my blog. But how am I supposed to keep up with him? My knitting friends (some of them at least, hint hint) have blogs, so I can nominally keep up with that group. But other than that I feel pretty isolated. Even Julie and I have trouble keeping in touch because we both have these little people ruling our lives. Thank goodness for email, because otherwise I would be shut off from everything.

Thanks to Pam and Alison for the book recommendations. Any others would be welcome!

And Alison, if you think the baby fever may just be a passing fancy, I highly encourage you to wait. I have never done anything more challenging in my life, and I'm only a week and a half into it! But then his little hand wraps around my thumb when he's eating – he is still so small he can't even grip my entire thumb – and I'm blown away by this amazing guy. There is no way to describe what it's like to be a mother. My dad keeps asking me and I still can't come up with any good way to describe it.


Comments:
Hello,

I just read you blog and it really hit home. I totally think agree with you regarding friendship and motherhood. I totally was there three years ago. Luckily I was able to salvage my friendships with my non-mommy friends. As you grow into motherhood you will meet some incredible new (and maybe old) mommy friends in your journey of motherhood.

I am so looking forward to meeting Jack! It looks like I will be meeting him on Thursday!

Hope to see you soon!
Kim
 
You showered with nobody home! You rock and are officially a badass mommy. If someone is truly your friend, even if they don't quite 'get it' they will understand that your life is different now and your priorities have changed because they have to change. Your life will never be the same, but it will turn right side up again, and your friends will still be around.
 
I don't have kids but I understand what you say about the whole no kids thing. I had a friend that I had told that I one day wanted to have kids. He then decided a week later that he didn't "need" to be my friend.... GRRR... Congrats on the shower! Some will think that it is silly but I am proud of you.. By the way, you really look great and Jack is cute as a button.
 
brooke! you can't get rid of me! totally understand the post-mommy stuff. i'll do better at calling and e-mailing (and blogging!) :)

it's been wonderful to read your blog -- i'm going to call you in a minute too!

natala
 
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